Sunday, 13 February 2011

Stopping Eatting..

I've added this post slightly early as I am currently waiting on an email back from a company who I've emailed to see if my blog can be used in any way.

I stopped eatting when I was in my last year of primary school. I had always been one of the larger ones in my class. It didn't affect me until my last year, Im not sure why but I think I also got worried about bullying starting in my first year at high school. It terrified me having to go to a new school never mind being bullied there.

I received constant comments about how I was looking good after a little of my weight had stopped. I didn't plan to stop eatting all together, I just wanted to look pretty. I wasn't completely ugly, but I wanted to be popular, and too fit in you had to be stick thin, and perfect.

I stopped eatting properly for well over 2 years, my mum did notice it but no matter what my family said, I still thought I needed to lose a little more. Hey what's losing a couple of stone eh?

I didn't plan on losing too much, but after losing a stone people were complimenting me more and more. At tea times, I would always find some sort of excuse,either Im not hungry, or I felt sick. My parents clicked on, but I denied any problem.

Soon, my skin became spotty, my eyes were always black and tired.Worst of all, my ribs began to show, yet I was still in denial. I am not proud of what I did, to me oh those around me. But what's worse than being left with the after affects.

Always being told "you're getting thin again" is enough. I find it hard to put on weight, even though I eat a healthy diet. I don't condone what I done, but it has made me who I am today. It's made me a better person. I beg anyone who thinks they have an eatting problem to stop, think and please get help. I seen a specialist who helped me magnificently. But I couldn't have done it without my family. But I know I can never make up what I put them through.

I am sincerely sorry to my family, and even now when I feel myself returning there, I know where to turn to.
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